Well, not cars plural–just one Jeep Cherokee in my driveway. OK, I lied again. I just slammed the door loudly after returning from Stop and Shop. Regardless, the news of Norm MacDonald replacing Gabe Kaplan is as egregious an error with directing as Marty McFly having two separate actresses play his girlfriend in Back to the Future and Back to the Future Part II, or why there was no explanation given as to how Cory Matthews didn’t notice a new sister sitting on his couch during the second season of Boy Meets World.
GSN announced on Monday that Saturday Night Live (SNL) alum Norm MacDonald would be relieving Gabe Kaplan of his announcing duties on the seventh season of High Stakes Poker. Growing up, I couldn’t get enough of Norm’s dry humor through SNL’s prime. Arguably some of the greatest years of the show were when he was a sketch actor and the host of “Weekend Update”, as there has been nobody since to fill his shoes at the divine levels. That was in the mid-90s. It’s now 2011, and his relevance has dwindled down to his annual 15 seconds of fame during ESPN’s World Series of Poker broadcasts. With Kaplan’s $855,658 in lifetime poker earnings, Norm adds about as much value to the show as a person getting their ticket number called to suit up and play because the home team’s quarterback tore his ACL.
I can’t help but think that in Gabe’s absence, the entire essence of the show will be lost. His poker knowledge, experience, and snappy wit and irreverence were holding the show together at the seams, in between big pots and even bigger players, bigger players of which aren’t even returning. While Norm will arrive with his own sense of humor, his on-air personality combined with what little knowledge he actually has of poker–outside of knowing that it’s not a good thing to consistently bust out on day one of the Main Event–will act as a catalyst to a severe drop in ratings. Remember where you read it.
The dissension caused in the token line-up of players will also help send the show off towards obscurity. There will be no Phil Ivey, Tom Dwan, Patrik Antonius, Ilari Sahamies, Eli Elezra, or Gus Hansen due to sponsorship conflicts. There will be no Gabe Kaplan to offer insight AND colorful commentary. Instead, we have Norm MacDonald, who’s commentary will be as colorful as a color blind person starring at a rainbow. Instead, we have Kara Scott, who will be “providing illuminating behind-the-scenes reports, revealing player interviews and expert poker analysis.” She did such a stellar job last season asking six questions an episode to two separate players to collect a paycheck. I can’t wait to have my viewing experience illuminated.
GSN also released the official player list, including a few names that earlier speculation had missed:
- Mike Baxter
- Eric Boneta
- Doyle Brunson
- Johnny Chan
- Robert Croak
- Jon Duhamel
- Antonio Esfandiari
- Phil Galfond
- Barry Greenstein
- Bill Klein
- Phil Laak
- Jason Mercier
- Julian Movsesian
- Daniel Negreanu
- David Peat
- Bill Perkins
- Andrew Robl
- Phil Ruffin
- Vanessa Selbst
- Bob Voulgaris
Who in the hell are the the random bolded people peppered on this list accomplished players?
“A total of six new amateurs will also participate: Robert Croak, the creator of SillyBandz; Bill Klein, a retired businessman and philanthropist; billionaire entrepreneur Phil Ruffin, who owns the Treasure Island Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, as well as many other successful ventures; Julian Movsesian, a life insurance executive whose company specializes in serving high-end clients; Bill Perkins, president of a private equity and venture capital firm; and Erik Boneta, a watch dealer and wholesaler who specializes in Rolex watches.”
Oh, random local Vegas gazillionaires asked by GSN to participate in order to fuel the mindlessly reckless pots absent due to the fact that many of the brightest minds in the game will not be appearing this season. Hey, at least I can see these nobodies in 3D!?!?!?! Give me a break.
Truly, what has happened to High Stakes Poker? I mean what, were Gilbert Gottfried, Rob Schneider, or Paula Poundstound too busy? I like Norm MacDonald…when I watch my SNL reruns and on the Bob Saget roast. Kaplan has been a staple to poker coverage for decades, cementing his presence amongst the community. You take the woman out of the Mona Lisa painting and it’s just a stupid framing of mountains and roads. You take Kaplan out of High Stakes Poker and it’s just another stupid poker television show sponsored by a site trying to appeal to a more mainstream audience, in turn, segregating the people who appreciate why the show actually exists.
I guess if there is one plus to all of this, at least it’s not Ray Romano.
As we’ve reported in the past, Carbon Poker offers $50,000 worth of freeroll money every month! This is in stark contrast to all of those other nitty, bumhunting poker sites that offer puny $50 freerolls once in a while like they’re some king throwing peasants bread crumbs in the streets.
As the World Series of Poker Circuit (WSOPC) enters its seventh year, tourney officials realized something had to be done to bring it out of the spiraling nosedive that would leave a wreckage indistinguishable from a backwater VFW hall home game on a Friday night. As its prestige faded with any mention of it still existing, many people were left wondering if it still served a purpose, as players ultimately decided to spend their tourney entry elsewhere.
