I Want You–To Rob Veterans Out of Money

Ever wonder what happens at your local VFW hall when they hold their weekly poker tournament “for charity”? Just ask Jamie Lee Sparks.

Sparks proposed to Warsaw, Indiana VFW Post 1126 his plans to get them $2,000 a week:

1. Hire him to run a No-Limit Hold’em game. This includes his own hand-selected staff of dealers who will tell authorities they are volunteers.
2. He will befriend along the way Larry Criswell, chief financial officer, and Denise Messer, club manager, who will help present the idea to the veterans.
3. Criswell and Messer will then co-sign a charity gaming application with him, who will also falsify information and state that Sparks is a member of the hall.
4. Sparks would submit financial reports to the hall, writing off dealer salaries as “cleaning expenses” and the money he earned as “security”.
5. Running three days a week, he will charge a 10% rake, up to $8 a pot, and gain $372,886 of revenue in no time.
6. He will then give the VFW only $4,000 of said revenue.
7. In the process, he will gain the attention of the Indian Gaming Commission by being skeevy, backwater scum and robbing respectable veterans out of decent money.
8. Said commission will investigate the suspected illegal activity.
9. Said illegal activity will be confirmed, with serious repercussions being dealt out to the three main players involved in the illicit activity.
10. A hulking man named Bubba will hold you intimately at night as the large spoon.

After all was said and done, the local authorities, in cooperation with the Indiana Gaming Commission, arrested the three major players. Sparks was charged with corrupt business influence, a class C Felony; professional gambling, a class D felony; theft, a class D felony; and contracting, a class D felony. Messer was charged with aiding contracting, a class D felony, and Criswell with contracting, a class D felony.

What’s even more amazing than three people thinking they could get away with something like this is the fact that for a while, it actually worked. After grossing $372,886 from collecting 10% rake and finding enough people too stupid to question it, it’s not a matter of how could they? It’s really an issue of why wouldn’t they? I have a soul and respect my flag though, so I wouldn’t be able to tell you.

Fight for your country and then you find its hand in your back pocket. God bless America!